As I understand it, diapers are for babies and seniors who don’t necessarily control their bowel movements, or releases.  May not be a fun subject, but it’s the best I could come up with lately when my bosses change my calendar so often in a day that all I can utter is, “…shit!…” which leaves me with very little time to pee.

I work in a tough intellectual place where I’m continually reminded that I can’t spell “intellectual.”  It’s true that the people I work for are highly accomplished and they’re rich, but they are clueless about the rest of the workers when they constantly change their schedules, deadlines, and needs.

I get hit daily with “where are we on…..” and can’t answer because hours before, they changed my direction by saying, “we really need to work on….”which followed and earlier version of “why is this taking so long to….”which came on the heels of “we didn’t do a good job on….”

So, what can I do?  Well, I’ve tried wicking underwear, but they’re bulky and give me industrial panty-lines.  I’ve tried every electronic PDA and other device available, but their assistants update times so often that I can’t keep any of them straight and show up to the wrong meetings at the wrong times at the wrong places and get the predictable “…where are we on….?”

So, like children in third world countries that aren’t issued pants until they can hold their bowels, I’ve decided to walk around the building in my business suit shirt, top and jacket, but no skirt or pants.  I’m pretty proud of my legs and everything else down there but wasn’t ready for the first response.  “Geezuz, Madison, I didn’t realize you were so tall.”

I said, “What!?”

And, the answer?

“By the way, where are we on…..”